WEDDINGS

When a couple come to me for marriage preparation I always ask them ‘do you love each other?’.

The wedding ceremony is a public declaration of their love for one another and the actions and traditions surrounding this ceremony reflect this.

Giving the bride away.

When asked ‘do you want your father to give you away?’ the lady invariably replies ‘Yes’!
When asked if she knows what this symbolises she might refer to women belonging to men, or else admit ignorance.

Tradition:
The lady is escorted down the aisle by her father and is ‘given away by him’ at the altar.
At the end of the service the parents of the bride and groom escort each others partner out.

Why?

By tradition a woman has no identity as a person but has to belong to a man, which could be her father but should be the head of the household (right de seigneur comes to mind!).

She belongs to him and is under his protection and the protection of his house.

When she comes into the church she holds onto his right arm – signifying that she is preventing him from drawing his sword (yes there will be those who say ‘but I am left handed’ but if you wear a sword it is always on the same side as everyone else otherwise there would be some nasty accidents when you came to draw it out in formation!). I also tell them that it is to prevent her father from drawing out his sword and stabbing the groom so saving his dowry – but I made that one up for fun!

So, as she enters the church she is preventing her head of house from protecting her – then when she arrives at the front she lets go of her head of house’s right arm and holds onto her spouse to be left arm – thereby indicating that she is placing herself under the protection of her spouse and his family!

Such effrontery! War is declared! That is why the grooms family sit on one side of the church and brides family sits on the other side – to identify the enemy!

The groom has now stolen the bride, but in an effort to bring peace to the situation he brings the bride forward to the priest.
The priest represents Christ and brings healing to the situation.

The priest therefore takes the brides hand and returns her to her rightful owner, the head of her house who in turn hands her right back to the groom as a symbol of his giving her away and the acknowledgement of their love for each other (which has previously been sworn to each other).

The priest then marries them, giving God’s blessing on their union.

After the ceremony the bride and groom turn around at the altar and then face each other’s family to walk out. As they pass by the members of the families, these then come out together (with the person they meet from the opposite side), and symbolise the joining together of the two families.
 
The Ring

The ring is round to symbolise the love they have for each other is eternal. Gold also symbolises eternity and also purity.